The Green Monster

{jeans: Gap; top: Ross; bag: French Connection, gift; clutch: Payless; shoes: Ann Taylor flats, thrifted}

This green shirt has been in my closet for a long time and has thankfully never seen the light of day before these photos. I really love the color, but the shape of it reminds me of the circus. It's tight at the bottom and billowy in the middle, a combination that could only possibly flatter a woman in her third trimester.

When I saw that picture of me from the side, I literally ran into my room and threw this shirt in the donate pile. How awful is that side-view? I paid $15 for this shirt - $1 for each pound it adds onto my frame.

I tried tucking it in so I didn't look like a lumpy pillow from the side, but it looked more awkward than a 16 yr old boy at a pool party. I think it's only compatible mate is the skinny jean, and this outfit is not something I am wearing out in public. Instead I'll just post pictures of me in it online for all to see.